You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
