I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Even the bartender felt bad for me
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize