OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
