The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize