Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize