I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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