is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
