I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize