someone threw a dead crab at me
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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