Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
