shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
