If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
