I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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