It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
