even my farts smell like vagina
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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