His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize