he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
