His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize