Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
