if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
