he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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