Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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