White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
