when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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