This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
