that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
