her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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