Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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