I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
and you fell through a lawn chair
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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