A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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