we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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