yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
