I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
