Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
