oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Well I just put wine in my tea
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
