But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
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