Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
