His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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