real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
