she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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