I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
