dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
So gin and wine won't be happening again
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
