you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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