Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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