I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
