dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
