I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
