I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
