do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
