mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
