Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
