I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
