i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
