So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
