who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
