Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
