Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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