google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
