i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
