you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
