she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Are we still banned from the library?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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