There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
