I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just invented taco cereal.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
