I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
