Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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