she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I want to have your abortion
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
