I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
