How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
