I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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